


The Fungus Among Us

by NaomiJameston



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bananas, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, Discord: Hearts & Cauldrons SSHG Server, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Yes Really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaomiJameston/pseuds/NaomiJameston
Summary: Hermione and Severus are tasked with righting a past wrong that led to the decimation of the Gros Michel banana.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 22
Kudos: 25
Collections: Hearts and Cauldrons - Daily Prompts!, Hearts and Cauldrons Discord Members





	The Fungus Among Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonstone281](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstone281/gifts).



> A word to the wise: never share a banana fact on the Hearts & Cauldrons discord server or you'll be challenged to write banana angst.
> 
> Many thanks to my challenger and alpha Moonstone281! You're the best, the worst, and I love you.
> 
> (This is unedited. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.)

“And finally in the 1960s, farmers were forced to sell out to the big corporations, becoming nameless and faceless subsidiaries on the land they once owned,” Hermione Granger read outloud. Beside her, Severus Snape was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk, his eyes heavily lidded and half-closed, giving the impression that he wasn’t listening. Hermione noticed and huffed an irritated breath.

“What does this have to do with us?” she asked. 

“We’re being sent to research ways in which we can increase production of the Gros Michel banana and relieve some of the pressure from the conglomerates that have them in a stranglehold.” He didn’t open his eyes as he said it, nor did he move his hands from their relaxed clasp behind his head, but he gestured to a large folder with his chin. “There’s more information in there. A lot of research has been done already but with the wars and a lack of funding, we haven’t made much progress since then and-”

“I ask again, what does this have to do with Magickal folk?” Hermione asked, reaching for the folder.

Severus’ eyes snapped open, pinning her to the spot under his intense glare. “Wizards released the fungus. We’re cleaning up after them and righting the wrongs. That’s what we do, isn’t it, Granger?”

A flush swept across her face like a slap and memories followed in its wake. A year ago, arguing with the Minister and Head Unspeakable that Severus’ involvement was crucial in a potion she was working on. That he’d jump at the opportunity to right the wrongs he’d done. And that she was the person to lead him to the light.

But since then, they’d been stymied at every corner. No one wanted to work with the dark man and his checkered past. Rumors swirled continuously that he’d joined revels with glee, that he’d been instrumental in the destruction of Godric’s Hollow and the Potters within. That he’d entered the destroyed house and laughed at the corpses.

Hermione shook her head. None of it was true, even if she hadn’t asked him. He certainly wasn’t the kindest person she knew nor the easiest to work with, but under his grim exterior was a warm heart and a desire to help. It wasn’t a surprise that he’d accepted her offer, but they both felt the pinch of low expectations. Everyone was waiting for them to fail, at which point they would send Severus back to Azkaban.

Hence, bananas.

She flipped open the folder and looked at the first page, on which was pinned a picture of several children laughing and circling around a wizard whose hat was askew on his head. He held a bunch of bananas above his head, teasing the children who reached for them. Written on the corner was “Wizard Smythe, 1950s, Fusarium.”

“Fusarium?” she asked. Severus nodded and leaned forward, dropping his feet, to reach further into the folder and pluck an illustration out. He handed it to her and Hermione studied it intently. Though she’d never taken biology in Muggle school, it was hard to mistake the bacteria as being anything but devastating. Long tendrils stretched between bundles of caterpillar-esque bunches, and there were hundreds of each. On the back of the diagram was an illustration of a banana tree with a cutaway of the stalk, which showed clear signs of rot.

“The fungus that caused the eventual devastation. Henderson was a researcher who studied the bananas and created a serum to help prevent the spread.”

“But it didn’t work?”

Severus handed her a picture from further in the stack, which showed a similar banana tree. It was yellowed and wilted, its leaves dropping and blackened at the edges, and its fruit black and rotten. Hermione nodded grimly.

“Let’s begin, then, and right the wrongs.”

~~~~~

It took months and Hermione never wanted to see another banana in her life. The smell of rot had completely suffused their office and several of their neighbors had moved to further offices. One unfortunate accident had led to Hermione’s hair curling into bunches and Severus had once turned yellow from crown to toes. At one point the fungus had literally reached out of its petri dish and almost caught Hermione’s elbow but Severus had noticed and pulled her out of the way in time. The memory still haunted her nightmares sometimes.

But it was finally done.

The serum swirled gently in its vial, its color blue and silvery. Severus had joked that they should make it yellow instead but she’d been insistent on anything other than yellow. Yellow was now her least favorite color and she would die happy if she never encountered it again. He’d conceded and had added extra blue to make her happy instead. 

“Our contact will be here in a few minutes. Are you absolutely positive it’s ready?” Severus asked from behind her. Hermione didn’t move, resting her arms on her desk and her head on her arms, watching the swirling liquid. “Hermione?”

“Yes, it’s ready and it should work without issue. I’m only sorry we couldn’t reverse the devastation,” she said, sighing gently. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Severus said simply, his eyes on her. “But then I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

She smiled, satisfaction but not quite joy drawing the corners of her lips up. “Well, at least we’ve managed to fix this one problem. We only have about a million more to go.”

“We’ll fix those, too,” Severus said simply, plucking her arm and pulling her out of her chair. “This is a moment to celebrate, Hermione. We’ve done a good thing and we’ll do more in the future.”

“And they’ll let you stay out of Azkaban.” Her smile was wider, truly joyful this time, and she threw back her head with a laugh. “You’re right. We should hit the town and celebrate.”

“To bananas!” Severus hooted, lifting an empty beaker.

“To the Gros Michel, and long may it reign!” Hermione said, tapping another empty beaker to his. They shared a laugh, probably forced and laden with baggage, but the look they shared as they set the beakers down was genuine in its intensity.

“Hermione…” Severus started, looking as though he wished he hadn’t set down his beaker so his hands had something to do. “I’ve been… meaning to ask you.”

“Yes?” Hermione replied, leaning unconsciously forward. A curl slipped out of her bun, falling across her shoulder, and the smell of bananas floated upward. 

“Oh, ugh,” she sneered, tossing the curl behind her. “I am disgusting.”

But Severus plucked the curl back, smoothing it absently on her shoulder. 

“You… You are delicious,” he said, “and not just because of the banana. I… um-.”

“Would-” Hermione interrupted, licking her lips nervously. “Would you like to… go to dinner with me? That is- I mean, only if you’re interested. I don’t want you to feel obligated or like I’m forcing you or-”

Severus placed a finger against her lips to stop the flow of words.

“I’m interested,” he said simply. “What would you like?”

“Anything but bananas,” Hermione laughed. Severus chuckled, and they left the room together, Hermione plucking the serum from the table as they went.

Neither of them noticed the cured bananas turn brown, then black.


End file.
